Experts warned today of a
new and deadly threat to our beleaguered
civilization: the 100GB Bug.
As most people know, McDonald's
restaurant signs show the number of
hamburgers the giant chain has sold. That number now stands at
99 billion burgers, or 99 Gigaburgers (GB). Within months or
even weeks, that number will roll over to 100GB. McDonald's signs,
however, were designed years ago, when the prospect of selling
one hundred billion hamburgers seemed unthinkably remote. So
the signs have only two decimal places. This means that, after
the sale of the 100 billionth burger, McDonald's signs will read
"00 Billion Burgers Sold." This, experts predict, will
convince the public that, in over thirty years, no McDonald's
hamburgers have ever in fact been sold, causing a complete collapse
of consumer confidence in McDonald's products.
The ensuing catastrophic drop
in sales is seen as almost certain to force the already-troubled
company into bankruptcy. This, in turn, will push the teetering
American economy over the brink, which, finally, will complete
the total devastation of the global economy, ending civilization
as we know it, and forcing us all to live on beetles.
"The people who know
-- the sign-makers -- are really scared of 100GB", one expert
said. "I don't know about you, but I'm digging up a copy
of THE FIELD GUIDE TO NORTH AMERICAN INSECTS and heading for
the hills."
